Thursday, March 10, 2011
Marching Lion
So, I promised myself that after the mess of February, March would be my new start. Forgoing the analysis of Marching in like a lion, or even the start of the Lenten season, I am doing my best to have set the reset button for this new month and new outlook.
First of all, Solomon is wonderful. Amazing. And perfect. And I will cherish the more time I can spend with him individually. It's starting, slowly, to feel like less and less of a rush to have a second ASAP. Don't get me wrong, we're still trying, and I'm still anxious, excited and nervous, and it still stings a little seeing soooo many people in my life become pregnant, but I've talked myself into some perks of having a baby spaced out longer than we had originally been planning. Happily, I'm still young so don't have an immediate worry of my biological clock. And the longer it takes for a second one, the more money we can manage to save, the more stable we can feel, and the closer Gerard will be to finishing residency. And the longer it takes the older Solomon will be (brilliant thought, I know), so ideally he'd be more independent and easier to balance with a baby. Right now he's in this mama-obsessed stage, always wants to be held, and on any given morning will have a complete meltdown because I so dared to try to take off his pajamas. On these mornings I can't imagine another crying little being also fighting for my attention. So maybe, maybe, my world won't crumble if my children are spaced 3 or 4 years apart.
Semi-related to Solomon's intermittent craziness, I've decided to take stock of my life and my priorities. I've been so stressed out with deadlines, schedules, traffic, commute, dishes, etc that it feels too exhausting to even try to be a normal person. One of these priorities was making sure that Solomon gets to see Gerard everyday, as I previously mentioned. Maybe it doesn't sound like much, but in the life of an intern's family, it's a huge undertaking. It helps that Gerard's no longer on his ICU rotation like he was in February, but regardless we're doing everything we can to see him everyday, even if it's for 5 minutes in the hospital parking lot. I'll go out of my way to drive there after work, even if it adds to my commute time, takes away from my dinner-making time, and postpones Solomon's bedtime. Because this is a priority, and it's a priority I want Solomon to have ingrained in his head, and worth the sacrifices that both Gerard and I have to make in order to see it through. I think it's helping their bond already. Solomon has been increasingly willing to be held by and play with Gerard. And he's starting to call out for dada more and more on the way home from daycare. This is amazing to me. He's actually hopeful he'll see dada. He also recognizes the exact second we turn into the hospital (even rear-facing, which I find interesting) and will call out dada! dada! So this is worth more to me than cooking dinner.
And I'm trying to have renewed vigor an motivation at work. Don't want to get into it too much, because I'm planning on a longer post soon (I know, I'm such a tease), but I'm trying to get out of my work slump, which is secondary to both work frustrations, and my overall low morale/ sadness/ frustrations with fertility stuff, as well as of course trying to maintain a work/life balance for both Solomon and myself.
Lastly, I took Gerard to a Sharks vs Predators game this Tuesday. These are the NHL teams for San Jose and Nashville, by the way (because if you mentioned the team names of any other cities I surely wouldn't know what you were talking about). Sucked taking him out on a Tuesday night, and after his birthday, but it worked out well being a Predator's game, there was a little bit more availability of seats for under $100, and it was a night we could utilize our baby-sitting swap. It was my first hockey game, and was fun! It was nice to be reminded that even though we aren't in SF anymore, we still are in a "city," and there's still fun things to do very close by. The stadium was one stop up from the light rail, which is right in our backyard. So the trip to the stadium took maybe 10 minutes and $2 (well free, really, since I usually just risk being caught when I'm only going one stop). And then we were in a completely different world, and it was reminiscent of when we were dating and would do things like this. And it made me excited to imagine taking Solomon to sports games here and to go to Stanford games, etc. And that's fun to think about.
Ok, back to my sick day- which, now that I'm a mom, no longer consists of napping and watching bad daytime television. Somehow I'm busy cleaning, washing diapers, and worried my tacos used up any remaining scrapes we could have used for dinner tonight. And a honey-do list from Gerard (I thought I was supposed to do that??) I'm also debating whether or not I should work on a report for work. Uggghhh...
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Edamame Tacos
Still not ready to post a longer blog. Eventually I will post about my struggles at work. And also m New Year's Resolution to be more crafty. Tonight I'm just going to post about dinner.
I go through phases of being semi- on top of it, when it comes to dinner... Trying to plan out recipes in advance and grocery shop for the week accordingly. I've never been super good about it- you hear about other people who do prep work on the weekends, plan their whole menus, etc etc. I've never been that good. At my best I think of 2 or 3 recipes that call for ingredients we wouldn't otherwise keep at home, and prepare for those. At my worst, I don't go grocery shopping for two weeks, so have no fresh produce, nothing good left to eat- and search through the fridge, freezer and cupboards wondering what in the hell we are going to scrounge up for dinner for yet another night.
That's where I found myself tonight. We had some ground turkey, but that was about the only perishable, nonfrozen food in sight. I've been trying to do what I can to sneak in vegetables when and how I can, because both boys do whatever they can to avoid them. Any time I made something with ground meat, it was easy to dice veggies and mix them right along with the meat- so that no one could just pick them up. So turkey tacos and bison burgers were done like this a lot, and were tasty. But Solomon is still deciding whether or not he's a vegetarian, and Gerard had graduated to eating his onions and peppers in slices instead of dices, so I haven't been doing that as much. Anyway, we had half an onion left, but no peppers or other suitable vegetables, and not even any spinach, which we use instead of lettuce. So tacos, onions and cheese was going to be a little boring. So I decided to experiment- without a recipe- which is something I never, ever do. I decided we could add some salsa for flavor, and corn to sweeten the deal for Solomon (he's a little bit obsessed with corn). Solomon will eat about any vegetable when mixed with equal parts corn (we do chopped zucchini or squash like this a lot), so I put corn in. I searched through the feezer, but the only veggies I could find were peas and edamame. Neither sounded particularly good to me in a taco, and I knew Gerard would put up a fight, but I through some edamame into my corn salsa mix and hoped for the best.
'Best tacos yet' Gerard said. Success! I as proud. Gerard couldn't even taste them. Solomon was weary of the green peaking out, and spent the first several minutes picking them out. But then he gave up on the task and figured it was easier to just eat them. I'll take it.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Iwahmah boop
So, I've started several posts recently that I haven't been able to dedicate enough time yet to do justice to. But I wanted to at least touch base with all my fans. :p
One phrase we hear a lot in our household (apartmenthold?) is 'Iwahmah boop!' which means, of course, I would like to read another book, pretty please! Solomon is turning into be quite a little book nerd, which is great, but is drastically lengthening potty time and bedtime because he wants...more... books... But, books are making our commute times every day much more bearable, so I'll take the other annoyances in stride. He has the same collection of books in the car, each of which I know frontwards and backwards. So I can always tell which page he's looking at by something he says or does, and I know the book well enough to talk to him more about what else he is looking at (he's still rear facing so I don't have any visual cues, even at a stop light).
I have maybe a million children's books thanks to my job, and by going to a Scholastic warehouse booksale a few years back that I majorly OD'd on. So, I'm trying to be more selective about my book choices now, so the good books we have don't get lost in an endless library of mediocrity. I've recently acquired three wonderful, wonderful books, however, that I just had to share:
Jazz Baby, Lisa Wheeler
This was in the sale section of my favorite children's book store, and it's been all I can do to refrain from buying this book for everyone I know. I love the diversity of skin color in the family, but mostly it's just an insanely fun read. It reads like a jazz song and is insanely catchy and fun. I'm trying to wean Solomon off 5 Little Monkeys in favor of this. I've mentioned before my sensitivity to not raising Solomon in an overly Caucasian-centric environment. So I love being able to share books like this that are a bit of a break from the familiar to me, but is a great- albeit limited- exposure to different cultures and experiences. We aren't sitting around as a family singing jazz frequently (or ever) but this book makes me feel like we should be. An excerpt:
Grandpa TOOT-TOOTS,
Granny sings scat.
Bitty boppin' Baby goes
RAT-TAT-TAT!
Mama sings high,
Daddy sings low.
Snazzy-jazzy Baby says "Go, Man, Go!
Beautiful Oops, Barney Saltzberg
Picked up this book today at the Borders closing sale (can I mention how sad it is to see this bookstore in shambles and disarray? I feel like I've spent so much time over so many years browsing, studying, or hanging out in a Borders. It was sad to hear it closing, but even sadder to see it as a half-empty, disorganized mess. Sad...) Basically it's a book about turning mistakes into awesome creations. So a rip in a page becomes the mouth of an alligator. A drink ring stain becomes a bog for a frog. It is so creative and different. And inspiring. I was one of those children who just cringed when a paper was crumpled in the slightest or my name wasn't written perfectly. I'd sooner throw out a piece of paper with a slightly creased corner rather than do my homework on it. So I think that this book will help teach great lessons to both Solomon and myself.
The Peace Book, Todd Parr
My sister sent me this book and I'm in love. Solomon's also requested this a few times at bedtime which is a huge deal to break into his routine of 5 Little Monkeys, Pat the Bunny, and Baa Baa Black Sheep from his nursery rhymes book repeated infinitely. It's bright, cheery and engaging, and sends a message of respect and acceptance in simple, short ideas. I really like the overarching themes of helping others, as well as the acceptance and celebration of diversity. This is who I want Solomon to grow up to be. I want him to grow up to be this book.
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