My baby's penis, and Alex Trebek

Soooo, where do I start on the happenings of the week so far??

Well, Monday, we had our regularly scheduled ultrasound, which confirmed lil boo still has a penis, and is indeed a boy! Yay!! He's pretty adorable already, and we've decided he has Gerard's cheekbones and my chin. The sonographer was kinda a bitch at first, but totally redeemed herself by giving us like a million pictures! I could probably clip them all together and make a little motion picture flip book thingie. You remember those??

Tuesday I suffered through a day of work and then jetted off to LA to see Joe! He was eerily calm for someone about to be on Jeopardy!, and it was so great to see him. Wednesday was the taping, and though I've secretly told some people the outcome in person, I don't think I can tell the collective you, my audience via the internets, being the "media" and all. Let's just say it was a very exciting show and you'll have to tune in July 6! Drama drama! 

What I can talk about from that day, however, is Alex Trebek. You know how you always wonder how much of his quick wit and humour is scripted out for him and rehearsed? None of it. Dude walks a fine line between genius and crazy old man. I've never known eithr of my grandfathers, but I reckon Alex Trebek acts like someone's favorite grandfather with a mild-moderate buzz, and more charm. He talks to himself, sings nonsensical doodads while walking, and about 60% of the time uses crazy accents for no apparent reason. During commercial breaks in the tapings, he'd come to the audience and answer questions. And boy can he dead pan. What brought you to LA from Canada? A plane. Have you ever hosted any other game shows? Yes. He would not break into a smile, or later clarify his answer to the one he knew you wanted.  I did finally learn how he always pronounces everything correctly though. He gets the questions at 7:30am before the taping starts to read over them, and he looks up any pronunciation he is unfamiliar with. If he stumbles over a question while reading, then he continues for the game play, but he is rerecorded reading the question later, during the commercial break. This happened amazingly few times, though. And when you consider he does 5 tapings a day back to back, you know he really knows his shit to speak as well as he does only reading over them once before. I also got the chance to ask him if he had any plans to grow back his moustache, to which he replied I'll grow my moustache back when you can grow one also. Thanks, Alex, I'll work on it.

I managed to win a raffle prize, too! A Jeopardy! tote bag with a Jeopardy! ESPN board game- which I'm sure I'll play all the time. Me with my awesome football trivia... I was pretty stoked to win, regardless. 

Schmoops may  have a pretty sweet job in the works. But I'm keeping it under wraps until it's confirmed...

Poopy

So, Match Day was March 19. On Monday, we found out that Schmoops actually didn't match. The emotional roller coaster that has ensued since then has been so turbulent that I can't even bring myself back there to accurately describe it. I don't want to do it injustice by wording it poorly, so I think I will just skip it all together. Suffice to say, it was surprising, disappointing, frightening, confusing, angering, frustrating and a whole bunch of other adjectives all rolled up into one. At the end of the day, he could have settled for a position for the sake of his pride to say he matched, but he took the high road and decided he didn't want to settle for a position out of desperation. And he didn't want to force me to move to Wichita or Boise, which I am forever grateful for. So now, here we are. Seemingly back at square one, but don't you worry. He has tricks up his sleeves and we are going to be just fine. I don't know where yet. But we'll be happy there. And I'm at peace with it.

I wasn't at such peace last Thursday. Between this cumulative stress of the preceding days, eating a lot of takeout during my travels, and lil boo boo totally fucking with my whole stomach/digestive area, I would up in the ER as a very unhappy camper. Next time you go to the ER, keep in mind that screaming and making a scene will get you a room ASAP instead of waiting in the waiting room. But also keep in mind that screaming and making a scene when you are friends with the residents hanging out there, because oh yeah- you're at Vanderbilt- is kind of embarrassing.

So, after my screaming and crying finally subsided, it was determined we had to find out if the shithead who did this- I mean, lil boo boo, is okay (I can say that because I know now he is just as happy as could be). Anyway, so one of these tests was a diagnostic ultrasound. Usually ultrasounds are happy and exciting and you are supposed to look at the dad with tears in your eyes and hold hands.... This was not one of those ultrasounds. This was one of those ultrasounds with one screen that was positioned in a way that I couldn't even see, with a very clinical sonographer who would not answer questions or say anything helpful at all. But, she was kind enough to turn the screen for one photo she took. The shot was a big W. Two legs spread eagle, with lil boo boo's penis sticking out the middle. It was the most fantastic picture I've ever seen, but of course this wasn't the sort of ultrasound that gives you souvenirs to post on your blog. Boo. :(

Memo

If you are taking a 5-hour red eye, do not be the only jackass on the plane who keeps their light on. Seriously, your book is not that interesting you have to read it at 3am. But most importantly, if you do decide to be this jackass- do not sit next to me! Can't you tell I'm pregnant and tired and cranky and don't appreciate the spot light?

On another note, if you are taking the 5-hour red eye and can steal, kill or bribe your way into an exit row seat- Worth. It. Especially if you are flying with the apparent greatness that is US Airways. Seriously, usually exit rows give you just enough extra inches so that I can comfortably cross and uncross my legs without assistance from my hands. But oh noo. Not US Airways. I'm not sure if they are particularly concerned with their XL passengers navigating easily through the exit rows or what- but we seriously had like 4 feet of leg room. I could outstretch my legs completely- while slouching- and have a lot of space to spare. I did this- a lot. Mostly just to show off. I'm guessing the leg room in the other rows were not so generous- judging by how many times the back of my seat was kicked. 

It's a...

....BOY!!!

Longer explanation to follow and how I know this before we were sceduled for our ultrasound. Drama drama I'm too tired to report on right now.