Working mama

So I've been having a difficult work week. I do love so many things about my job, but I've had two particularly heart-wrenching parent conferences this week in which I've had to break hard news to parents who just aren't ready to hear it. I find myself starting things out soft and encouraging, but parents can't see all of the subtext of what I'm trying to explain, I have to get more and more frank and direct with them. And it's hard to sit there and shatter the dreams and expectations of these parents. It's always been hard, but now as mother I can't separate myself from how I would feel if I was sitting on the other side of the table. It does make me so fearful for what the future could hold for us- for Solomon, but in order to make it I have to live each day in and of itself and be gracious for the thriving baby that I have.

In addition, I'm starting to fall behind on reports I need to write. As a new employee, I'm trying to balance having a strong work ethic and of course providing everything I can for my clients and their families, but at the same time I have a baby at home. And I can't stay late because then I wouldn't see him at all that day. So it's getting very hard to fit in everything I'm expected to do. Lastly, as much as I love the texts I get from Gerard on Solomon's accomplishments and funny things he does, it also is always twinged with guilt and jealousy that I'm not there when he sat for the first time, or simply did something funny. And while I know myself enough to know I wouldn't be okay being a stay at home mom full-time, I do also want to be there during this time. Thankfully my work schedule hasn't seemed to effect our bond. I don't know how I'd handle it if I began to feel more distant from him. And the stresses of work are almost all worth it for the huge open mouth grin I get when I walk through the door.

Speaking of that moment when I come home, Solomon has become increasingly effective in announcing who he'd like to be held by. He reaches out both arms and practically jumps out toward to desired parent. Of course, this trick is particularly fun when Gerard and I stay close together and he can bounce back and forth as much as he'd like. Fun times. He also is absolutely crazy about his jumperoo. I'm crazy about the fact I can take 15 minutes to eat a meal with two hands!

Why do I see pregnant women and feel nostalgic?